Tipsy the Prognosticator: American Horror Story: Coven

You might recall how last year before the premier of AHS:Asylum I made some predictions based upon their promo spots. Predictably, they were incredibly wrong, but somehow also amazingly right. I don't anticipate this year's advertisements to be any more honest about what's to come, in spite of how painfully stylish they are. I'll give …

American Horror Story: Asylum, S2:e13, “Madness Ends”

"This face he showed the world, this face of sanity and benevolence, that was his real mask."   I'm going to skip the blow-by-blow here and get right to the chaos of my feels about the finale. I have spent the entire season skeptical (verging on irritated) about the whole alien thing, but with the …

American Horror Story: Asylum, S2:E12, “Continuum”

"Everyone knows there's only one way out of Briarcliff, and it ain't the front door."   There's trouble in the Walker household. In spite of an idyllic (if somewhat unconventional) family portrait, tension is growing between Alma and Grace.  It hinges primarily on their attitudes toward their respective abductions; Alma was pulled from a happy …

American Horror Story: Asylum, S2:E11, “Spilt Milk”

"It's an extraordinary thing, you know that? You throw me in a madhouse, you strip away everything I have, everything I know, you treat me like a rabid dog, like a madwoman, and you know what happens? I am more sane now as a madwoman than I ever was as the head of Briarcliff."   …

American Horror Story: Asylum, S2:E10, “The Name Game”

"For we wrestle, not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against rulers of the darkness in this world." AHS:Asylum returns from its midseason break with one of the most moving episodes of the season, fraught with death and emotion and a swinging soundtrack! Arden revives Kit and lies to him about their …

American Horror Story: Asylum, S2:E9, “The Coat Hanger”

"It started as a trickle, but within an hour it was a bloody mess." I'm not gonna say I told you so, but Lana is pregnant with Thredson's creepy-mommy-rape baby. Also, aliens. "The first time I tried it, it was scary, but felt amazing. My whole body came alive." Calling himself Johnny Morgan, Dylan McDermott's …

American Horror Story: Asylum, S2:E8, “Unholy Night”

"It's how the Devil works. Bit by bit, he turns our eyes away from God." A holiday spirit of an unexpected sort has filled Briarcliff, to the delight or dismay of its residents. 1962. Leigh Emerson shoots a Salvation Army Santa, steals his suit, and goes on a rampage. He's got a vendetta against Christmas, …

American Horror Story: Asylum, S2:E7, “Dark Cousin”

"Shall I kiss you... and make this all go away?" Amidst discussing the merits of Sidney Poitier in 1963's Lilies of the Field, nuns discover Grace hemorrhaging. Grace reaches for a woman in black. As wings appear and the figure leans in for a kiss she murmurs, "I'm ready." The nuns jar her back to …

American Horror Story: Asylum, S2:E6, “The Origins of Monstrosity”

"I'm not a monster. I'm a visionary." Opening in present day, a 911 operator receives a call from Bloodyface, reporting the imposters. He has festooned the foyer with them, in one of the most metal scenes of the season thus far. Back in 1964, Sister Jude has returned to her habit and is trying to …

American Horror Story: Asylum, S2:E5, “I am Anne Frank, Pt. 2”

"Instincts are everything. We ignore them at our peril." Sister Jude has left Briarcliff to meet with Mr. Goodman, a concentration camp survivor who agrees investigate Dr. Arden's history as an SS doctor. He points out that because of Operation Paperclip it's possible Arden's identity is false, and that while she might identify Arden from …