The Fitbit Diaries: The Revenge

Well, somebody got the memo that I’ve been back on my bullshit.

During 2017’s NaNoWriMo, Brian opened a kitchen drawer, gave me a significant look, and asked, “Is this a whole new bag of halloween candy from the one that was in here yesterday?”

first of all, don’t judge me. second of all, yes, it was.

PUpqokK

trashboi life

Things haven’t improved since November. I’ve become an innovator in the field of junk food consumption. I cancelled my gym membership because people there touched me all the time. My dog is just as willing to hang out on the couch and rewatch Supernatural on Netflix as he is to go for a 3 mile walk. More willing, if it’s cold.

So when I found this in my inbox, I knew what I had to do.

Photo Jan 31, 22 06 26

A return to obsessive numbers crunching, only now I have a dog to help!

and then, I knew what else I had to do.

Photo Jan 31, 22 07 31

This son of a bitch got a $50 off coupon and frankly I’m offended

 

Rest assured it’s already a disaster.

Photo Jan 31, 22 06 39

this is neither an euphemism nor an exaggeration

Send thoughts and prayers.

 

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